For those that have been through this before.

For discussions of high school varsity girls' lacrosse

For those that have been through this before.

New postby bothkidsinlax on Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:01 am

For those that have been through this already;

Trying to keep my myself and daughter on firm ground, not in the "clouds".

As a middle schooler, entering high school next year, our daughter is a VERY SOLID player, not the stud of the team (on either school or travel teams).

We expect that she will continue as a very solid player and NOT be recruited as the next "big thing" and receive a full scholarship to a D! school. Maybe she will be offered a little money for lax??? Maybe a little for academics??? NOT COUNTING ON EITHER.

Her grades are exceptional, and she is fully rounded....

I do expect that because of Lax, and her grades she will have the opportunity to choose from many top colleges.....and that we can expect to foot the bill for these schools (we are ok with that).

My main question/issue is, What happens to a kid like this that is accepted to a top school based on grades and lacrosse ability (no lax scholarship $), that decides at some point that they want to pursue academics and additional social activities and no longer wishes to play lax? If there is no lax $, is this an issue?

I hear that you can only do two of the following three things well in college;

2)Athletics or
3) Social activities. That it is absolutely unreasonable to think that you can do all three equally well.

Looking for thoughts from those parents that have been through this already.

Thank you
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby 2pontificate on Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:23 am

My oldest daughter successfully played lacrosse in college, did very well in her academics and went on to professional school post grad, and had such a good time in school that she refers to college as her four year paid vacation.

If your daughter is successful with her time management, she will do all three and love school. If she watches lots of reality TV, her reality will suffer.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby Redefender on Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:45 am

My only advice is to be upfront with the college coaches. While most welcome walk-ons (free option), thèy are very leery of being used to help with admissions only to have a kid drop lax as soon as he/she gets accepted.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby laxermomma on Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:08 pm

1.A lot can happen between 8th grade and sophomore year. Some of the studs in rec ball get as good as they're going to be early, while a more middle of the road player can continue to mature and progress and really get it. That can turn in to some early "stars" not even playing varsity ball and quiet contributers turning into solid varsity players.

2. Don't worry about the scholarship money. A full lacrosse scholarship is like a unicorn. It has happened, but it is the exception that proves the rule. I one time heard a third grader talk about how her father was going to get her a car if she got a college lacrosse scholarship. The joke will be on him when she gets book money and half a meal plan and tadah, a new car (from him).
3. Good grades are very important at all levels - encourage her to keep up the good work. That is what coaches like to see!
4. And you can do all three (academics, sports and grades) really well - it's called DIII! You can balance your life between strong academics, great lacrosse, and even greek life. Take a look.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby 4dlax on Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:33 pm

I agree with Laxermomma- D3 schools have blend of Lax and Academics without the stress of having to play Lax. Plus the grants/scholarships on the academic side are as much if not more unless she is a blue chip stud player. It is all about where she will be 4 years later.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby VirginiaLaxDad on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:01 pm

My wife and I have just been through the whole recruiting process for a Division 1 school for our daughter. NO ONE gets 100%. Realistically figure on about 20-30%. Each women's program at the D1 level will have maybe 12 full scholarships and that has to be split a LOT of different ways. There are exceptions, but the "norm" is almost invariably at the level I just mentioned. The following is a URL to a great article you should read: ... hould_know

More and more universities are adding lacrosse so there will be increased opportunities for your daughter. If she isn't already on a club team, get her on a good one from your area as soon as possible. Many of the top club programs have their tryouts in the fall (August-September). Before committing to a particular club team, find out what tournaments they go to. College coaches will go to the top tournaments so they can see a whole bunch of players in the shortest amount of time.

Remember that the top clubs "require" a significant time commitment (practices, tournaments, money, etc.). That means parents as well! :o

Our daughter literally plays year-round and has gone to as many clinics/camps as possible every year since she was in 6th grade (THIS WAS TOTALLY HER CHOICE). We have constantly told her that if she can't do just three things then she needs to walk away from the sport: 1) HAVE FUN!!!; 2) Give it 110% every time she steps out on the field; and 3) Listen to her coaches.

About what schools your daughter might be interested in attending, it will change constantly over the next few years--guaranteed. Just remember she is the one who has to be at a particular institution for four years. Try to develop a "short list" of targeted schools and look on their Web sites as to what they require of potential student-athletes.

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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby fromthesideline on Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:57 pm

Here are my thoughts: DD had numerous colleges recruiting her from big time D1's to "I never heard of that school D3's. She went with a mid pack school. Best part of the lacrosse aspect was that she got into the school of her choice without paying for an application, writing essays etc. and she knew she was in by the end of her junior year of hs.
Lacrosse went well and she met a group of girls to ease into the college. As academics became more demanding in a medical profession, she eventually stopped playing a couple years in. It was a bummer but she got to the point where she was not having time to eat meals. The good thing was, she did not get caught up in the recruiting process as she turned down some amazing schools for a place she felt comfortable. She is loving the school and graduates soon with no loans as she got so much more $ for academics than she did for athletics.
Don't count on a lot of money for lacrosse. DD was one of the top 10 in her position nationally and was rarely offered more than 30% tuition and those were the 40k plus schools. A 4.0 plus GPA will usually get you 50%+ at many schools. Focus on studies, have fun with the sports. It used to kill me to see young ladies change majors just to be able to play lacrosse. One coach actually asked our daughter to pick a different major if she wanted to play lacrosse at her school. It would have been fine if that was stated up front, but after 2 visits to the school, it was disturbing. It was nice to see her play her best game against that team.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby laxandlearn on Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:02 pm

My daughter received a scholarship to a mid-level DI program, had to pay an application fee and write an essay. She also didn't get her official acceptance letter until mid-way through her senior year. There are players that are told that they will get into a school only to find out later, in their senior year, that they didn't get in. Even we held our breath until our daughter received her official acceptance letter. As long as your daughter works hard in the classroom and on the lax field things will fall in place. There's plenty of time for her to figure out what she wants in a college and lax program.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby LaxyParent on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:55 pm

I'll jump in...

Always go for the academic piece as the most important aspect of gaining acceptance into college. And it's true that schools with merit money are probably a better bet than athletic scholarship. My son is a science kid.. set to graduate in May and I can attest there is absolutely no way he could have played lacrosse at his school and have the same academic experience. However, it didn't hurt that his resume for college admissions was laden with awards and achievements, as well as top grades. However, he didn't earn some of these (Player of the year, All American) until spring of senior year - well beyond recruiting seasons. And the only schools that seemed interested in recruiting him for athletics before senior year were ones he really didn't have an interest in attending, and certainly not Early Decision round. He (and we) felt he had the academic chops to get into some much more selective schools. Longer story there, and it really does all work out, but my strongest advice for anyone gearing up for college admissions is that really, at the end of the day, what you want most for your kid is options.

Academic major: I do know more than a few kids who did change their UG degree to play sports and did their science premed school course work in the summer. You do not have to major in science to go to med school. But you obviously don't want to be told what you can and can't study - ever. For some, it's fine. For others, it would be a deal breaker. Options.

Our youngest daughter also had her heart set on a couple of schools. As has been pointed out above, she wasn't one of the young stars in middle school, BUT she massively improved every year. The hard part about lacrosse programs going younger and younger for recruiting is the risk they will miss some really strong talent OR they might pick some lemons. And as a spring sport, you kind of have a lost year. It used to be that the biggest recruiting season was the summer between sophomore and junior year to get looks and as a rising senior entertain any options. In just four seasons, that's now a full year earlier in our experience, and you now have sophomores and juniors verbally committed - not that these will always stick. And it is also true that some schools reserve some slots for both summer before sr year and for the fall shake out (when potential recruits are dropped and put back on the market, so to speak). But not the NU's or UNCs etc type schools.

Anyway.. Club teams are really the only way to assure a younger player some good exposure, especially if they aren't one of those kids who starts on varsity as an 8th grader. You absolutely want the team that has the best coaching and the best tournaments. And truth is, our D's club team was not the winningest team at the tournaments, but they played at the highest level and the coaches were excellent at creating a game that even in loss would show a kids potential. What I learned is that winning and losing at these things is far less important than playing in the games the coaches will attend.

As was the same with our Son, D wanted to go to the school she wanted to go to and not just to play lax. She was recruited by some DIII's but there was no reply from her number one school. She was accepted however and while she reached out to the coach one last time, she felt content in playing on a good club team. Two weeks into fall ball, she was drafted up to the school's DI team. Yes, she's considered "free" to them, but I am hopeful that if they want her to continue playing they'll give her some financial incentive to do so for next year. Otherwise, we're paying the full boat while she's working essentially what could be considered a full time job, because really.. that's what it is. At all levels.

This all said... I do think you can do all three well.. social academic and athletic. But you have to have incredible time management. I think athletes get a tremendous amount of academic support made available to them, there is an accountability inherent in the team mentality (study tables, etc) and there's a lot of good deed doing as a team. It's a juggling act for sure, but I for one am glad D is as heavily scheduled as she is. And she chose a school where, compared to her HS, would allow her to work reasonably hard without killing herself. On the other hand, the work load at S's school is brutal, regardless of major.

Yep.. for our family, it has been all about creating options. You cannot know what you want (as a student athlete in 8th grade), you cannot know how exactly your talent (or interests) are going to stack up over the next two or three years, but you can know that creating options will be the only thing that allows you to feel any control in your life. And do not, under any circumstances, spend the money you would otherwise save for college on private coaching, private club teams etc. You'd be better off banking the money or spending it on tutors. Club lacrosse is not cheap, and I've seen more than a few "eggs in one basket" turn out to be groceries wasted.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby justlaxin123 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 2:51 pm

laxermomma wrote:2. Don't worry about the scholarship money. A full lacrosse scholarship is like a unicorn. It has happened, but it is the exception that proves the rule. I one time heard a third grader talk about how her father was going to get her a car if she got a college lacrosse scholarship. The joke will be on him when she gets book money and half a meal plan and tadah, a new car (from him).

Made a similar bet with my little star when they were in 8th grade. I made mine a little more specific, "if you get a FULL ride, I will buy you the car of your choice." ZERO risk in making that bet :dance:
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby RUlax92 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:23 pm

While I agree with the previous posts on the subject and I often hear the "investment" of club teams fees is less than the scholarship money, I think two things are often not mentioned.
1. Players do not always need a scholarship to make the investment in Lacrosse "pay-off." I do know of instances where kids with similar GPA's are applying to good schools and the student that offers more to the University is more likely to be accepted. Lacrosse can help them get into a good school. Even if the school has a Club program many have coaches that "recruit" and the reward is acceptance to a good school.
2. Both our daughter and our family enjoy the club experience. The tournaments are a good way to spend family time together and they can meet friends outside of the high school they attend.
If a school offers a scholarship or not, we win either way.
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Re: For those that have been through this before.

New postby LaxyParent on Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:36 pm

I agree there doesn't have to be a "pay off" - but what you don't want are expenses that would prohibit the parent paying your EFC to your kids' college once accepted. Sure it's a great experience, but so is travel to Europe.

I just think it's insulting to common sense that people spend their money on "investing" in their kids, but then don't understand why colleges then calculate their financial aid in a way that leaves them with an Estimated family contribution entirely outside what they feel they can afford, to say nothing of what they haven't saved. I see it every April when college decisions come in. Without fail. College is expensive... very. Upwards of 55K per year for a private school. You might do about half that at instate, but if you are going to a state school out of state, you're still going to come in closer to mid 40"s, if not closer to that of a private school.
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